(via fuckyeahslightlyamusing)
The accuracy in this pleases me.
It would be more pleasing if I could be the “you can use my printer” guy and not the “did all the research, wrote paper, composed presentation” guy.
I'm basically old and wheelchair-bound now
So, it’s my birthday today. I’m 22.
I woke up and my dad had left me a handmade card on my laptop. It read:
Sweetheart,
Many layers
In Life
Not always
Cake
But today
You add
Another one
It’s cute. He should do cards for a living.
Although he only drew 21 candles on the cake.
I also have lots of lube.
I have around 300 condoms in my room.
Some of them say “More Fun Than Church”, and “Because Prayer Won’t Work”.
This calls for a giant, messy orgy.
Who’s in?
Can the next exam come with pictures?
I had an exam for my Close Relationships class the other day.
I like how half of the couples in the short answer questions were gay.
It was a little distracting though. In one question, Simon and Javed were a couple and Javed was flirting with someone else at a party, which made Simon upset. And I was wondering if it was a gay party. I was wondering if maybe Simon, Javed and the other dude could have had a threesome. I wondered if they could have taped it and put it on the internet. I wondered how many other guys hooked up at that party.
And then I remembered I had to answer the question for four points.
I also wanted the lesbians to invite me over to their place sometime.
I Apologize
I’m sorry my dear friend. My best friend. It hurts me immensely to do what I have said to you tonight. But it has to be done.
Hey guys.
You know what I’m not going to do?
Turn my back on 4-5 years of history.
And let one of my closest friends go.
That easily.
I know it hurt, and I know it still hurts.
And I won’t force myself on you.
But I’m not giving up so easily.
I’m still going to be here, willing and wanting to talk to you, listen to you, see you.
And I’ll still think about you, wondering what you’re doing, how you’re doing.
So, if you need anyone, I’m always there.
Always.
